i try to get some control in my life
i have scared those around me
but most importantly i have scared myself
i never realized the feelings i had hidden inside
how powerful they were
how strong i must be to fight them
how easy it is to lose control of them

control does not come easily
to those of us with little of it
i don't know how long i can keep this control
this tight blanket around my feelings
i let it loose at night
and i lose a bit of myself

i try to forget my problems
but they come back to haunt me
i can no longer sleep
if i sleep i lose the control
if i lose the control the fight is lost
and i cannot and will not let that happen